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Male Masturbation | Female Masturbation

Top 100 terms for male masturbation

1. Anger the cobra

2. Badger the witness

3. Bash the bishop

4. Baste the turkey

5. Beat up shorty

6. Beef the jerky

7. Beef-strokin'-off

8. Blow your nose

9. Box the clown

10. Burp the worm

11. Call the captain

12. Choke the chicken

13. Clear the snorkel

14. Date Palmela Handerson

15. Drain the dragon

16. Drill for oil

17. Exorcise your demons

18. Fiddle the ferret

19. Fight with Tarzan

20. Fire the surgeon general

21. Five knuckle shuffle

22. Flog the dolphin

23. Flog your log

24. Give Kojak the third degree

25. Go down to the zipper mart to pick up a pound of pork

26. Grab the handle

27. Greeting Madam Palm and her 5 lovely daughters

28. Groom the Wookie

29. Harass the milkman

30. Have sex with someone you love

31. High-five Yule Brenner

32. Hold your sausage hostage

33. Increase the surface temperature of the ship's primary cannon using rapid linear motion

34. Jack the beanstock

35. Jack the frank

36. Jerkin' the gherkin

37. Jingle the Pringles

38. Lead Pedro down the road of bulimia

39. Liquidate inventory

40. Lope the mule

41. Lubricate the Lutheran

42. Make Peter puke

43. Make the Cyclops fight the 5 headed monster

44. Mangle the moose

45. Meet Mother Palm and her five daughters

46. Milk the one-uttered cow

47. Molest the bystander

48. Our Gang Spanky Marathon

49. Paint the ceiling

50. Pat the Robertson

51. Pet the bald eagle

52. Pocket pool

53. Polish the pewter

54. Powder your nose

55. Pull Nixon's nose

56. Put Mr. Kleenex's kids through college

57. Rattle the one-eyed snake

58. Remove the rust

59. Rope your goat

60. Rough up the suspect

61. Rub the rhubarb

62. Say hello to Mr. Happy

63. Shake hands with the one eyed milk man

64. Shake hands with the unemployed

65. Shake hot, white coconuts from the veiny love tree

66. Shake your fist angrily at your ex-girlfriend

67. Shampoo the carpet

68. Slap the salmon

69. Slobbin' the Milosevich

70. Spend time with an old friend

71. Squeeze a few rounds off on the pump action shotgun

72. Squeeze the Charmin

73. Squeeze the squid

74. Stretch the truth

75. Strip the bark

76. Stroke the salami

77. Strum the drum

78. Take batting practice

79. Take matters in hand

80. Take the sausage hostage

81. Tame the shrew

82. Tease the weasel

83. Tickle the pickle

84. Torture little Timmy

85. Tug the handle

86. Ugly man sex

87. Vex the vicar

88. Visit the petting zoo

89. Vote Republican

90. Walk the dog

91. Wash the Buick

92. Wax the Winnebago

93. Whack jack

94. Whip up some baby batter.

95. White water wristing

96. Wind your sun dial

97. Windsurf on Mt. Baldy

98. Withdraw from the spank bank

99. Wrestle with the one-eyed monster

100. Yank the Yankee

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